Las Vegas for Visitors
I found this on About.com thought I would post it here.
Downtown is old school so don’t beat around the bush. Wait for the lights of the Fremont Street Experience to get everyone excited and then fire off, “Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?” I don't need to explain what happens next, I’m sure you know.
The Bellagio fountains are the perfect place to use those great lines you learned in High school. The one that always works for me is the simple yet effective,"Do you come here often.” But, I’m a good looking guy so you might need some help. Try, “Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.” That should work in front of the dancing fountains. I must warn you that, “Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs” has never been successful at this location. If you’re married, though, you can pretty much say anything because the music coupled with the fine spray from the fountains typically sends your lover into a frenzy that you better be able to quell.
The Gondolas at the Venetian are a sure hit. Try the ever reliable “Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams,” as you hop into a gondola with your perfect match. Now if that person happens to be with their significant other, you might be forced to swim.
Now, if you’re feeling really confident and you’re self esteem is running on high I suggest going to the Volcano at the Mirage and waiting for the eruption. You should have spotted your target before hand. Make your way over to the mark and belt out, with conviction, this sure fire winner, “What can I do to make you sleep with me?” Now if that does not work you might want to try, “Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.” At that point just confidently walk away and I guarantee you will be working off that lunch buffet long into the night.
As you ride up to the top of the Eiffel tower you need to act like the experience is the greatest thing that has ever happened. Of course the person you are going after should be in the elevator with you. When you get out of the elevator to take in the view from high above the Las Vegas strip ask the said person if they have ever witnessed such a sight. At that point use the line that has cultivated many long one night stands, “I have only three months to live and this has made my life.” Gauge the response and then swiftly go in for the kill with, “Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew...” There is a drawback; if it fails you’re stuck a few hundred feet above the earth with someone who thinks you’re a creep.
Personally, I love weddings because you can always find one bridesmaid who wishes it was her tying the knot. Be able to spot the puppy dog eyes of the envious friend. Everyday people are getting married in Las Vegas so there are endless pools of contestants in the game of love. You might not need a line at a wedding but if you find yourself out on a limb try, “Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.” Just don’t get nuts and decide to do the double wedding because that really throws a wrench in the gears of future pick up sessions.
The one place you should refrain from hitting on anyone of the opposite sex is Caesars Palace. With statues all around the place that make any real man seem like he’s been in the shower for the better part of two days there really is no winning. Guys feel insignificant in the place and women feel robbed. Stay away from the place if you plan on getting any action while Las Vegas.
Downtown is old school so don’t beat around the bush. Wait for the lights of the Fremont Street Experience to get everyone excited and then fire off, “Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?” I don't need to explain what happens next, I’m sure you know.
The Bellagio fountains are the perfect place to use those great lines you learned in High school. The one that always works for me is the simple yet effective,"Do you come here often.” But, I’m a good looking guy so you might need some help. Try, “Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.” That should work in front of the dancing fountains. I must warn you that, “Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs” has never been successful at this location. If you’re married, though, you can pretty much say anything because the music coupled with the fine spray from the fountains typically sends your lover into a frenzy that you better be able to quell.
The Gondolas at the Venetian are a sure hit. Try the ever reliable “Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams,” as you hop into a gondola with your perfect match. Now if that person happens to be with their significant other, you might be forced to swim.
Now, if you’re feeling really confident and you’re self esteem is running on high I suggest going to the Volcano at the Mirage and waiting for the eruption. You should have spotted your target before hand. Make your way over to the mark and belt out, with conviction, this sure fire winner, “What can I do to make you sleep with me?” Now if that does not work you might want to try, “Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.” At that point just confidently walk away and I guarantee you will be working off that lunch buffet long into the night.
As you ride up to the top of the Eiffel tower you need to act like the experience is the greatest thing that has ever happened. Of course the person you are going after should be in the elevator with you. When you get out of the elevator to take in the view from high above the Las Vegas strip ask the said person if they have ever witnessed such a sight. At that point use the line that has cultivated many long one night stands, “I have only three months to live and this has made my life.” Gauge the response and then swiftly go in for the kill with, “Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew...” There is a drawback; if it fails you’re stuck a few hundred feet above the earth with someone who thinks you’re a creep.
Personally, I love weddings because you can always find one bridesmaid who wishes it was her tying the knot. Be able to spot the puppy dog eyes of the envious friend. Everyday people are getting married in Las Vegas so there are endless pools of contestants in the game of love. You might not need a line at a wedding but if you find yourself out on a limb try, “Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.” Just don’t get nuts and decide to do the double wedding because that really throws a wrench in the gears of future pick up sessions.
The one place you should refrain from hitting on anyone of the opposite sex is Caesars Palace. With statues all around the place that make any real man seem like he’s been in the shower for the better part of two days there really is no winning. Guys feel insignificant in the place and women feel robbed. Stay away from the place if you plan on getting any action while Las Vegas.
posted by Old Army | 3:31 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks for stopping by. I have not lived here long but find it more enjoyable due to it being closer to family.
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